About Colorless Spirit

I’m John Gruca, and Colorless Spirit is the evolution of something that began many years ago. In 2010, I started Colorless Noise as a personal journal—a quiet place to process depression, chronic pain, anxiety, and the everyday struggle of simply staying here. Over time, that space became a way to connect with others through honest writing, mental health reflections, and creative design. While Colorless Noise gave me my voice, Colorless Spirit is where that voice begins to sing with clarity and purpose.

This platform is built on six foundations that reflect my own healing path: Mind, Body, Emotion, Spirit, Identity, and Community. Each one holds a unique piece of what it means to navigate inner chaos, chronic illness, and emotional pain while still seeking meaning and connection. Everything I create—whether it’s a design, a phrase, or a full-length blog post—grows from one or more of these foundations. They guide me as much as I hope they can offer something grounding for you, too.

Nature and music have always been lifelines for me. I don’t write about them because they’re pretty metaphors—I write about them because they’ve helped keep me alive. There’s a rhythm in music that cuts through the noise when words fail. There’s a stillness in trees and water that doesn’t ask anything of you but to keep breathing. These influences have shaped not just how I survive, but how I create. You’ll see them woven into my writing and my designs—sometimes subtle, sometimes bold—but always present. Nature reminds me to be patient. Music reminds me I still feel. Together, they’ve helped carry me through moments I didn’t think I could survive.

My writing and designs aren’t just creative work—they’re expressions of how I process life, emotion, and the strange beauty of staying present through pain. I am not a licensed therapist or expert. I am someone who has been through the fire and still finds meaning in the embers. I write because it helps me stay grounded. I share because I know someone out there might need to hear it, too.

There’s another layer to who I am that has helped me understand my path more deeply: I’m a Manifesting Generator in Human Design, with Sacral Authority and a 5/1 Profile, living under the Left Angle Cross of Defiance. I’ve always been driven by a need to break norms, speak uncomfortable truths, and follow creative instincts wherever they lead. My energy is non-linear, built for experimentation and creation. I often move in unexpected directions—fast, then slow, then deep—and I’ve learned to stop apologizing for that. This system helped me understand that my intensity isn’t a flaw; it’s part of how I’m wired to serve others.

Astrology has given me another lens for self-awareness. With a Scorpio Sun, Virgo Rising, and Gemini Moon, I live with emotional depth, analytical thought, and restless curiosity. My chart is a map of contradiction and transformation—Sun conjunct Neptune gives me a poetic, visionary core; Moon opposite Mercury reflects the lifelong tension between feeling and expressing; Uranus in Virgo urges me to innovate, often through structure, service, and spiritual growth. These patterns don’t define me, but they’ve helped me embrace the complexity of who I am—and why I do what I do.

Colorless Spirit is not a brand built to follow trends—it’s a platform grounded in truth, healing, and emotional awareness. At its core, this space is about mental health: raising awareness, breaking silence, and reminding anyone who needs to hear it that it’s okay not to be okay. It’s a personal and creative response to the invisible battles so many of us face. Whether through writing, design, or reflection, I try to create things that speak to the human experience in all its messiness and depth. Colorless Spirit is where my lived experience meets intention, where honesty replaces perfection, and where even the hardest truths are met with compassion.

Thank you for being here. Your presence matters more than you know.